Robert J. Sawyer

Hugo and Nebula Award-Winning Science Fiction Writer

Brockport revokes NAFTA

by Rob - February 27th, 2009.
Filed under: RJS Books.

In response to my posting about being unable to publish any further non-Canadian authors under my Robert J. Sawyer Books imprint, Marcos P. Donnelly sent the following:


BROCKPORT, February 26 — In a surprise response to complaints by the Canada Council for the Arts concerning the publication of U.S. works by Robert J. Sawyer Books, the upstate New York town of Brockport announced its unilateral revocation of the North American Free Trade Agreement.

“That’s it, we’re done, we’ve had it!” fumed town supervisor Nat O. Lester, who declared the revocation late Thursday. “We’re shipping back all the Labatt’s in town, and we’re closing our portion of the Erie Canal to Canadian boaters.”

Town merchants voiced initial support of the NAFTA overturn. “I’m sick of those foreigners sneaking in here with their funny-looking money,” said Lorenzo Villaguarde, owner of Lorenzo’s Mexican Market in downtown Brockport. “You know how hard it is to convert from Canadian dollars to American dollars to Mexican pesos to Colombian pesos? Madre de Dios, the exchange fees are killing me! Seal the border!”

Reaction from Washington was guarded.

“As the, uh, new guy here in the Oval, uh, Office, I’m not fully … fully certain whether Brockport has, uh, the legal right to reverse, um, NAFTA,” said one Washington official who declined to be identified due to his high rank in the administration. “The Canadians seemed … pretty nice to me. Didn’t they seem, uh, nice? I think they’re nice.”

But as Washington waffled, Brockport bustled to rid their town of all things Canadian. Bulldozing of the local Tim Horton’s began at 8:00 p.m EST, and the local Wegman’s announced it would now refuse any checks drawn on Scotiabank or Toronto-Dominion.

“In addition, I’m encouraging Brockport citizens to send testy emails to Canadian political leaders,” supervisor Lester said, although he later admitted he couldn’t identify any of those leaders by name.

In an ironic twist to the Brockport NAFTA revocation, local author Marcos P. Donnelly discovered that the Canadian engine of his Chevrolet Cavalier had been removed from his car and deported.

“Great,” Donnelly muttered. “Now how the fuck do I get to work tomorrow?”

The Robert J. Sawyer Web Site

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